Kum bay ya (did I spell it right?)

Taurus: You're at the center of all the hustle and bustle in your increasingly busy routine. It may start to feel like just that - routine - but rest assured that all your actions have meaning and import, even the tiniest ones.

Camp has begun it's fall session. I'm SOOOO tired. It's the end of my third day of training (of 14) and I feel like it's been a month. I have absolutely noooo motivation to neither set up my room nor do res life stuff. I feel like I did it all already, even though that was obviously last year. Can I use the same door tags? Do I really really really have to do more room condition reports? I feel so busy yet I haven't actually started doing the work yet.

I have mixed opinions of this year's staff. A lot of them, the new freshmen RAs and freshmen mentors in particular, are great. They're fun, motivated and excited about the year. Others are sooo blahhhh and kind of bitchy. I think I've also got the "I've done this all before so I know better than you" attitude about some little things. Like today at duty crunch, I wished that some of the people would just shut the fuck up and listen, because we both know you don't know what you're doing.

As far as my bosses go, they are really awesome. Both my directors and my bosses beyond them in the office seem really cool and the student-staff is mostly already at a comfort level with them that it took months to get to with the people from last year. BUT, at the same time, they're not as good at their jobs as I would've liked. Like when we try to explain to you that "we don't have an option as to when to have the first floor meeting for freshmen" you need to take more seriously that we know what we're talking about and you can't just go-with-the-flow as much as you are.

I just don't wanna be one of the people doing extra work because a bunch of other people don't know what they're doing.

you make me not want to listen to my ipod

Taurus: Writing is magical. The empty page is where you start to put together the disparate parts of your life. Once you put it down on paper, you can figure out how all your plans can start to come together.

Just write it? Okay (ps, I'm not so sober, sorry).

Don't say "I told my girlfriend she can't stop us from being friends" and then not even be my myspace friend.

Don't tell me you have some newfound respect for sex and that's why you're dating someone you're not sleeping with and then tell your cousin that our relationship was all about it.

Don't constatnly ask me how my family is, and specifically my sick grandmother, and then not even show face at her wake.

Just - don't.

Don't tell me you still think we should be together and that you "don't understand" why we're not. What I really need you to tell me is that you've moved on and that you're HAPPY. Happy is good. I'm happy - don't ruin it. You're just too confusing. I waited months and months for you to GET A CLUE and GROW UP, but you didn't. I couldn't wait forever - I'm done.

Whew...

Eight days to go!

I'm not going to start thinking about the packing yet, but yehhh, it's almost time to head back into the city. Packing will suck. Trainiing will suck. Not making any money will suck. Buuuuut I'll be back in the city - I'm so excited.

So the summer's finally over. I really did have a great one. Best summer ever was five years ago that I spent with my cousin Nanci. It was between my sophomore and junior year of high school and Nanci and I spent all our time at her house in the Poconos. That was the summer that I met a whole bunch of new people, got drunk for the first time and kissed lots of boys. We barely did much but hang out by the pool and watch tv until the late hours of the night, but I just loved the atmosphere and hanging out with those people - different people.

I also looooove my group of people in the city. Don't get me wrong, I have some of the best friends in the world here on Staten Island, but I don't know - there's something different about having nothing to do at the dorms than at home. I enjoy sitting on the couch and watching CSI all day just a tad more. While I'm sad that I'm not living with Tara this year, I'm excited to have a new roomie all over again. It's a little like the excitement of freshmen year when none of us new each other. Fun fun.

So, yeahhh eight days and counting. Training is a poop, but I'll have Tara, Nell and my European lover to help me be drunk through it. Speak of the devil, now he wants to live in Switzerland for a year. Augh. He's silly. Anyways, I'll be baaack.