Freaked

As I've said before, JJ and I broke up in June. Now four months have passed and - I won't lie - I've been a little lonely. So, three weeks ago, when I was at a family party in Long Island I thought it would be a good idea to start to put myself back out there. There was a cute waiter serving my table who was flirting with me during the party, so I built up my courage (with my brother's help) to give him my phone number. We spoke for a few minutes and I learned that he actually has a friend at Fordham and hangs out in Manhattan once and awhile. That seemed sort of perfect because we could hang out in the city, but it wouldn't have to be extremely committing because he lives in LI. Seemed so...

About eight hours later I was out in Manhattan for my friend's birthday and I got a voicemail. It was the waiter. Um, yea, eight hours - I know it's kind of cliche how girls say that guys wait too long to call them, but this was way too quick. I immediately felt that the waiter was too desperate for me, especially since I wasn't looking for a relationship. The voicemail itself also turned me off, because he was drunk and trying to impress me by saying that him and his friends were driving around drunk and about to smoke up. Sorry, not endearing.

I didn't call him back. I could tell that I wasn't going to be interested, so I thought it best to not give him hope. A couple of weeks went by before he called me again. Friday night, I was out with some friends at a lounge and he called. I ignored the call, but again he left a voicemail. It was about three minutes long (that's pretty long in VM time) and he left his number twice. Again, the desperation was bothering me and I did not call him back.

The next night, Saturday, I was at a Halloween party in Brooklyn and I got another voicemail. The waiter said that he was hanging out with him friend at Fordham tonight and that he hoped we could hang out. I texted to him that I was in Brooklyn and wouldn't be back until very late. There was no reply.

My roommate and I got home around 4 in the morning (really 5 am to us - thank you daylight savings time for making the party longer) to find a massive message on my door. Shortened, "Hi it's :waiter:. I found your apartment number of facebook [he did not know my last name] and thought I'd stop by. Had a miserable night. Wish you were here. I'm staying upstairs in - - -. You should come by. Love ya".

Well, maybe I over exaggerated because I was drunk or something, but I totally freaked out. I have not returned this kid's phone calls and he tracked me down. He found me on facebook without knowing my whole name. He also left me a message on my facebook account. I just kept thinking, omg he's in the building, he's a few flights away. It took me awhile to fall asleep last night and I think I only did because of the support of some of my good friends here - so thank you to those friends, you know who you are.

I replied to the facebook letter and told the waiter that I started seeing someone recently. It's not true and I hate to lie, but I was really freaked out and I hope that he gets the message to leave me alone. What a way to start considering dating again. I already never felt comfortable giving my number so someone I met in a bar or club and now I feel like I can't give it to anyone that I don't know for a reasonable amount of time. "Dating" is so different and more complicated than what I've been used to in the past - you and a friend's relationship evolving into a "I like you more than a friend, you like me more than a friend, let's be in a committed relationship" type thing. Agh!

On a happier note, that pic up top is of me and the roomie at the Halloween party...