So you're a Jedi...
I went to mass last night for the first time in a long time.
Besides Christmas with JJ's family, it must have been three years.
Going to mass wasn't the most awful thing in the world. I mean yes I was bored, but I haven't been to a service in so long I guess it was only right to go.
I sang along to the opening procession. I remembered all the words. I kneeled when I was supposed to kneel. I remembered all the rules. I replied when I was supposed to reply. I remembered all the lines.
Then I remembered why I don't go to mass. I felt like a robot. Again. I hate that feeling - I felt it when I did these same things when I was no older than seven. I disliked it then and I dislike it now.
Against popular belief, I do believe in a God. What I don't particularly agree with is organized religion. I don't think that I can put a face to whatever "god" is and I don't agree with a community that insists all those who are not members are damned. It is for these reasons that I chose to keep my faith internal. I don't think that it's my place to press my own beliefs onto other people.
I think that I would define my faith as more spiritual than religious. While I do not picture my grandmother to be living the next life in a garden in a defined heaven, I do wear her necklace with the belief that she is all around me everyday in everything that I do.
And now my ramblings only make sense in my mind and no longer on paper (or a screen rather). Such is life.
Besides Christmas with JJ's family, it must have been three years.
Going to mass wasn't the most awful thing in the world. I mean yes I was bored, but I haven't been to a service in so long I guess it was only right to go.
I sang along to the opening procession. I remembered all the words. I kneeled when I was supposed to kneel. I remembered all the rules. I replied when I was supposed to reply. I remembered all the lines.
Then I remembered why I don't go to mass. I felt like a robot. Again. I hate that feeling - I felt it when I did these same things when I was no older than seven. I disliked it then and I dislike it now.
Against popular belief, I do believe in a God. What I don't particularly agree with is organized religion. I don't think that I can put a face to whatever "god" is and I don't agree with a community that insists all those who are not members are damned. It is for these reasons that I chose to keep my faith internal. I don't think that it's my place to press my own beliefs onto other people.
I think that I would define my faith as more spiritual than religious. While I do not picture my grandmother to be living the next life in a garden in a defined heaven, I do wear her necklace with the belief that she is all around me everyday in everything that I do.
And now my ramblings only make sense in my mind and no longer on paper (or a screen rather). Such is life.
posted by Bellezza at 12:51 PM
1 Comments:
i agree with u about the organized religion issue. Just because a long time ago somebody decided that everyone should follow certain rules to practice their religion doesnt mean that its right. i think its more of a spiritual thing too. =)
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