I got to sleep in
Heads Up: I wrote this right before Spring Break. It got lost on my Word doc without getting posted! Ahh. Anyways, a little behind the times, but nontheless fabulous.
N-Dawg picked me up last night and took me to a nice, Italian restaurant downtown. On the way there I was prepping myself for the "we need to talk" conversation that I am apparently incapable of having. When we met up I had the “serious, we have a problem” look on my face. He, of course, asked me what was wrong and if I was still spending the night at his place. (Because if I was, where on earth was all my stuff?) I told him that I still wasn’t sure if I was going to his apartment because I wasn’t feeling all that well and we proceeded to dinner.
At the restaurant I met a few of N-Dawg’s friends from work. (Real work, he’s a teacher remember.) I was flattered that they knew exactly who I was – how we’d met and what we’ve been up to. It was the second sign that he was pretty serious about me. For those of you that haven’t been following, the first was Valentine’s Day, keep up! I ate a salad (he paid), because I’d had an early dinner with my girlfriends only an hour before. Then we all moved to a pastry shop for dessert (I paid).
After dinner, naturally came dancing. The six of us walked a few more blocks to Detour a jazz club/bar place on, um, 11th and 1st. We had good conversation, listened to good music, and yeah he’s a really good dancer. At this point I checked in with Dodds, who advised me to simply follow my heart. I think he said gut, but heart sounds better. A few drinks later and we headed back up to the Bronx. I didn’t need to stop at home because N-Dawg had a toothbrush for me lol.
On the subway he showed me the gift that he’d been teasing about all night, which was a scrap-booking book. That’s when I checked in with my roomie. Talking to her, I decided that I was going to just enjoy myself. I was having a great time, whether I was ready to admit it or not.
On the way home this morning, I did a lot of thinking. I got off the subway a little early and walked 20 blocks to clear my head (on this gorgeous March day). I think I’ve gotten my problem figured out. I’m just afraid to move on from the “comfortable” things that I’ve been waiting to work out.
Stop waiting for JJ to prove that he can grow up.
Stop waiting for you-know-who to forgive me for being a stupid bitch.
Stop waiting for that on-again-off-again-since-August, we’re-just-using-each-other-for-intimacy to get a fucking clue.
Do I need to hold off for Mr. Right if Mr. Right Now is making me happy, even if I know I only want it to be short term? I guess it ultimately comes down to me being scared. I'm not sure of what I'm scared of which is why my mind keeps running from one extreme to the next. Agh, okay, one day at a time.
N-Dawg picked me up last night and took me to a nice, Italian restaurant downtown. On the way there I was prepping myself for the "we need to talk" conversation that I am apparently incapable of having. When we met up I had the “serious, we have a problem” look on my face. He, of course, asked me what was wrong and if I was still spending the night at his place. (Because if I was, where on earth was all my stuff?) I told him that I still wasn’t sure if I was going to his apartment because I wasn’t feeling all that well and we proceeded to dinner.
At the restaurant I met a few of N-Dawg’s friends from work. (Real work, he’s a teacher remember.) I was flattered that they knew exactly who I was – how we’d met and what we’ve been up to. It was the second sign that he was pretty serious about me. For those of you that haven’t been following, the first was Valentine’s Day, keep up! I ate a salad (he paid), because I’d had an early dinner with my girlfriends only an hour before. Then we all moved to a pastry shop for dessert (I paid).
After dinner, naturally came dancing. The six of us walked a few more blocks to Detour a jazz club/bar place on, um, 11th and 1st. We had good conversation, listened to good music, and yeah he’s a really good dancer. At this point I checked in with Dodds, who advised me to simply follow my heart. I think he said gut, but heart sounds better. A few drinks later and we headed back up to the Bronx. I didn’t need to stop at home because N-Dawg had a toothbrush for me lol.
On the subway he showed me the gift that he’d been teasing about all night, which was a scrap-booking book. That’s when I checked in with my roomie. Talking to her, I decided that I was going to just enjoy myself. I was having a great time, whether I was ready to admit it or not.
On the way home this morning, I did a lot of thinking. I got off the subway a little early and walked 20 blocks to clear my head (on this gorgeous March day). I think I’ve gotten my problem figured out. I’m just afraid to move on from the “comfortable” things that I’ve been waiting to work out.
Stop waiting for JJ to prove that he can grow up.
Stop waiting for you-know-who to forgive me for being a stupid bitch.
Stop waiting for that on-again-off-again-since-August, we’re-just-using-each-other-for-intimacy to get a fucking clue.
Do I need to hold off for Mr. Right if Mr. Right Now is making me happy, even if I know I only want it to be short term? I guess it ultimately comes down to me being scared. I'm not sure of what I'm scared of which is why my mind keeps running from one extreme to the next. Agh, okay, one day at a time.
posted by Bellezza at 8:01 AM
2 Comments:
Good call, darling. If you're happy right now, just go with it. Believe it or not, every person that you date doesn't have to be someone you want to marry. You're too young for that.
well dearie... i have absolutely nothing to say because you know what you are doing. except i like that you finally put something up.
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